Dealing with in-laws can foster a lot of negative energy and resentment. Take the time to remind each other why you decided to become a family and what you mean to each other. Both of you – not your in-laws – are now your own family. Don`t lose sight of it at any time. Your partner may feel like they`re forced to choose sides, whether it`s taking a stand, showing support, or assigning blame. Make sure you don`t stop him from maintaining the relationship he enjoys with his parents. Recognize the feelings he has for them and offer his support in his desire to maintain a relationship with them. Relationships between stepparents can be a wonderful part of married life, but they can also be stressful. Either way, your in-laws are a part of your life. It`s important to work on your relationship with your spouse`s parents, including setting boundaries if necessary. If you have a good relationship with your in-laws, try to let minor violations slide. If grandma gives your kids too much candy during visits, maybe you can just let it go (and if candy is a big concern for you, that`s fine too). The goal is to try to choose your battles if you can.
If you weren`t related, you might just avoid that person, but since he lives with you and is your wife`s father, it makes things difficult. Do you only see your in-laws on holidays? Or is the vacation just super stressful? Check out our tips for dealing with in-laws on festive occasions. Take a long-term view. The in-laws will be around indefinitely, so it might be in your best interest to overwhelm them with kindness and chatter. Even the most irritating in-laws can make grandparents useful if that time comes. I have problems with the way I talk to my father-in-law and it starts to cause problems between my wife and me. Hang10, he definitely feeds on drama and arguments, I try to distance myself from him and I do not react to his traps that he seems to let go of me, it is during a seemingly normal conversation that things get out of control. To give an example of my departure, I cut part of my garage so that they could store all their belongings. I was in my garden a few months later, I was gardening while the FIL asked questions, there were 2 pieces of wood in the yard, I picked them up, and the FIL disappeared when the penny fell a few minutes later, where did the wood come from, I was remembering, He had cut one of my shelves in my garage because it did not correspond to that, What he wanted to put there, but when I told my wife, she said, “What can I do?”, I could have confronted him, but I went to see my wife, sometimes I feel that my wife`s rejection of his actions is worse than the consequences of a confrontation with him.
My daughter has repeatedly said that she “doesn`t want anything to do with him”, “won`t cry when he dies”, “can get in his car for anything that interests him”, since he also treats her with negativity, I never intentionally exposed her to my negativity towards him, the only time she was exposed to my “side”, It`s when he provokes a direct conflict that evokes the reaction he wants, he even asked his daughter (my wife) to tell him that he is not a nice person, and he blew her away! Try to be strong for your wife, be kind to her father to her. You don`t need to be a fan of him, if you have too much, try to get away from him. For example, social activities that didn`t directly involve your father-in-law to give you that break. Leaving when he`s not nice to you gives you true power. It does not give him the power that was voluntarily given to him. Reacting is what many like. Your children are constantly watching and listening, so it`s important to appreciate kindness in all your interactions with family members and extended family. His wife, like most daughters and sons, will try to minimize her parents` behavior, as they have had a strong emotional bond since birth. I say that your father-in-law was the head of the family for so many years, and you accepted him, happy or not. Thanks to everyone for their answers, Quirky, yes, he knows which buttons to press, and the reason he`s fine is because they don`t want to deal with the drama he causes when he thinks they understand why he`s acting the way he`s doing. The reason I want to change the way I talk to my father-in-law is because I`m not the person I am when I talk to him (if that makes sense) I`m not a bad person (that`s how I`m told), so why can`t I control my attitude with him, I don`t want to play at his level! In-laws will be around indefinitely, so it might be in your best interest to overwhelm them with kindness and discussion.
Sometimes it is the situation that makes the father-in-law so. This could be due to your aggressive mother-in-law pushing him all the time, a financial situation at home, etc. Try to understand his side, his motive and let him go if you can. You know you should, but it`s hard because your father-in-law knows which buttons to press, but you realize he`ll be fine because everyone will make excuses for him, but not for you. How to plan a safe trip with your pet during the monsoon Let`s say your father-in-law wants to be part of building the house you and your spouse do together. But you both like to connect as a couple through this project. Not everyone can have a perfect stepfather, as you can see in some movies. But when you have a difficult stepfather, you have to be careful about your words, your actions, and keep so many things in mind that it can also be scary. To counter such a situation, here are some ways that can help you cope with a difficult stepfather.
The rule of thumb is that each of you should approach your own parents when problems arise. Confronting your mother-in-law or father-in-law (or even your sister-in-law) sets the stage for drama, because it makes you the villain. If your in-laws are still exhausting you, you should redraw the lines you have defined. You need to preserve your physical and emotional energy for those who deserve it, including your spouse.
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